Can't Sleep...

Can't sleep...  Is this a reason to begin a blog?  Actually, I've had what seems like a million thoughts to share and rather than bombard select individuals, I thought I'd do it here.

Where to begin...  Last month I attended BurningMan.  For those of you who are unfamiliar it's probably best to look it up.  It's rather impossible to describe exactly what it is.  For me it was pivotal, a catalyst for change.  I've tried to explain to others how I feel and find it difficult.  My best tries include that I feel as though there's been a, 'shift' inside me.  Or, that it's just like/only opposite of what I imagine having a facelift would be like... In the sense of if I were to have a facelift and look in the mirror, I imagine I would feel odd not seeing the face I've always known but at the same time know that what's inside hasn't changed.  Only in my case it's that the outside is unchanged and the inside is.  Sometimes it's like being in someone else's skin.  Really odd.

What was it that happened during that week at BurningMan?  Several things I suppose.  I was liberated.  Not that I've been imprisoned but in a different sense.  You go there and you are completely removed from reality as you know it.  There are no phones, no TV, no money, no electricity (other than generator powered).  You ride your bicycle everywhere.  You are surrounded by amazing art and amazing creative people.  You meet people from around the world.  People who are all there for the same experience.  In the week I was there I never once saw any conflict.  53,000+ people and no conflict.  How does that happen?  I laughed and played and dressed up and dressed down for that matter.

While at BM, I fell in love with riding my bicycle.  I've biked to work everyday since returning from Black Rock City/BurningMan.  I bike almost everyday even when I don't work.  I look at the world differently.  I notice things I didn't notice before.  I sometimes feel like a child full of wonder.  My heart, although open before, feels all the more open.  I feel like I'm headed somewhere but unsure where that somewhere is.

I sometimes wonder if it's also the age I'm at.  I'm 54.  I'm comfortable with myself and wiser (or so I like to think).  Prior to going to BurningMan I made the conscious decision to do the things I enjoy as much as I can.  I took more trips this year than the last several combined (I LOVE to travel).  I realize that in the blink of an eye, poof, it can all change.  And so I try to live as much as I can with the time that I have.

It's a strange trip this trip we're on, isn't it?  Like I said above, I have what feels like a million thoughts to share.  This is only the start...

P~